The Wedding Night

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Catching up on sleep is a great option to exercise on your first night and leave the sex to some other day. Let the other party know you are into them without being too clingy.

We then got out of the shower to find the entire bathroom flooded. You will have questions, need real-life clarifications from someone who knows you personally.

How to Do First Night: Show Your Love & Essential Advice for Sex

Every month over 8000 people in India search for first night tips on Google. Just imagine the countless other ways Indians try to find answers and get themselves educated on first night tips before their wedding night. However, the first night of marriage is a custom that everybody who gets married goes through but nobody talks about it. The only insight most Indians have is that the couple is supposed to consummate the relationship on the first night and must follow certain traditions before the sex. These traditions include a decorated bed for the wedding night, the bride covering her face with a ghungat if you are a North Indiana glass of milk, and an assortment of sweets and savouries from the wedding to snack on. Indians have also embraced the puritanical ethos of the thanks to the British and this has made all of us shy talking about sex and hence what happens behind the closed doors on the wedding night. This blog post aims to provide actionable insights and practical first night tips for Indians who are curious and have not figured out how to handle their first night after arranged marriage. Religious View — First night in Islam Islam considers marriage to be one of the four instances when the doors of heaven to mercy will be opened. The wedding night in Islam is a sacred ritual and the faith requires its followers to protect the sanctity of marriage and not pollute the sacred union by giving in to sin or immoral behaviour. Considering the fact that the first night of wedding is the first time a man and woman come together as husband and wife, Islam recommends that this sacred union should happen with the intention of getting close to Allah. Here is an extract from Al-Islam. Bless me with her affection, love and her acceptance of me; and make me pleased with her, and bring us together in the best form of a union and in absolute harmony; surely You like lawful things and dislike unlawful things. I have taken her as Your trust and have made her lawful for myself by Your words. I have made her lawful for myself with Your words, and I have taken her in Your trust. In this first chapter of first night tips, we have lined up 18 first night tips you should know to help you prepare the groundwork for an enjoyable and memorable first night of the wedding. Know the person you are getting married to According to a published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, couples who pay attention to each other have better intimate relationships and sex. Pay attention to his or her needs and make them feel special. Read the Kamasutra before your wedding The purpose of reading the is not to master impossible erotic poses for what to do in your first wedding night first night. According to Pavan Varma, a career diplomat and a prolific writer, Once you accept that the physical and the sensual needs are a part of your life, you will have to try being an accomplished lover. Kamasutra is a manual that of how you can train yourself to fully enjoy the erotic, which is a gift of the divine. It bridges the sacred and the profane. This is a major issue with Indian men is their belief that marrying a virgin woman is their birthright. Somehow virginity is associated with purity and loyalty. There is hardly any truth in this concept. If you believe you have had past relationships before or had strong feelings for someone and there is nothing wrong in marrying someone else, the same holds good for your bride to be. However, a pregnant Sita returns to Ayodhya only to be questioned about her chastity. She then proves to the world that she is pure by. In the end, she gives up her life with Rama and returns be with her mother earth. As you can see, the concept of purity and chastity runs strong in our culture and the general preference for marrying a virgin bride continues to be strong in India. Men and women in India are guilty of sloppy. While women are higher up the grooming evolutionary chain, men in small towns are guilty of not taking care of themselves. According to the Phillips women prefer well-groomed men with less body hair. For in-depth tips and advice to make sure you impress your bride on your wedding night. Nothing can ruin a wedding night more than the realisation that you are completely exhausted and have no energy left to even keep your eye open. Here is a thought worth considering. In addition to getting to know him or her, several studies have concluded that working out together can help you work out better, make your partnerand increase your emotional bond. The added bonus is that you will have more stamina to withstand the wedding day. These endorphins are stimulating, and as well as causing us to feel great, they stimulate the release of sex hormones. First night tips: 5 exercises for men to improve their sex life 1. Kegels — Kegels can help address erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Plank Pose — The plan pose helps you gain endurance and stamina. Lying Leg Raises — It provides intense core workout and helps you last longer in upright positions. Pushups — strengthens your upper body and core and improves all round endurance. Squats -Increases testosterone levels and blood flow to the pelvic region. For more details on these suggested exercises. First night tips: 5 exercises for women to improve their sex life 1. Squats — Great for toning your legs and buttocks. Bridge Pose — Strengthens glutes, hamstring, and stretches the hip flexor. Kegels — Easy way to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles to improve your chances to orgasm. Plank pose — Strengthen your body with a focus on your core strength. Seated leg extension — Great way to strengthen the legs if you are planning to do all the work in the bed. You may have to come out of your after engagement for the sake of your marriage. When you prepare for a job interview, you learn about the company you are applying for or even the interview panel members. Apply the same strategy when you get engaged. Use these in your conversation with your fiance. Get out of your shell and try to strike a bond. First night tips: 10 Conversation starters to keep your arranged marriage first night lively 1. Who what to do in your first wedding night your first ever best friend. Are you still in touch with our friend. Between your parents and your grandparents, who do you think you are most like. What prayer have you been praying for years—and wonder if it will ever be answered. What dream have you put on the back burner. What is your idea of a perfect vacation. When did you last cry by yourself. For 40 more first night conversation starters, check out. For example, if you are on a dinner date, sit next to your fiance and get close enough so that your tights or arms or touching in a non-sexual way. Even a minor physical contact builds sexual tension and increases craving for a physical relationship later. It is scientifically proven that looking into the eyes establishes a better rapport and focuses on the relationship between the parties. In ana group of men were shown two photographs of the same woman. First night tips: 4 surefire ways to create sexual tension what to do in your first wedding night your fiancee in arranged marriages 1. Compliment her looks: This is a great way to tell your fiance you admire her physically. Tell her how gorgeous the dress fits her and accentuates her beauty. Get close to her: Stand close to her in public places without really touching her. Make her feel that you want to say something but holding back. Laugh if you can According to a by the Journal of Personal Relationships, couples that tend to laugh together washed up having a better relationship in the long run. Laughter is also an indication of your support to your partner. The idea of laughing together will make it easy for both of you to navigate the first night without awkwardness. The truth about aphrodisiacs If you plan to get frisky on the wedding night or even otherwise, munching on food varieties considered to be aphrodisiacs could possibly help you although there is no conclusive proof of this theory. According tospicy food, onions, egg, as well as Okra ladies finger can serve as a sexual stimulant. Nine aphrodisiacs that you will easily find in India include cinnamon, honey, ginger, aniseed, cardamom, coconut, garlic, mango, banana. When you say yes to a person, take a complete plunge. Be open to advice from experienced friends. Other the usual taunts and double entendres you will hear from your uncle and aunts, it is usually reassuring to talk to someone who has been through the experience. Create a positive what to do in your first wedding night before the wedding night Creating a positive vibe about your new relationship is critical as you approach your first night. A positive vibe can be created through actions and thoughts. When you go on a date before your wedding, make sure you pick places that will put you both in a good mood. For example, even a corny romantic movie is better than a tear jerker. Avoid introducing your fiance to negative nellies. Surround yourself with other couples or friends who are enthusiastic about your upcoming wedding. First night tips: How to talk in order to create a positive vibe with your spouse. I was stuck on my couch all day. Silly debates are always welcome Men like women who can take a stance on trivial things that have no impact or significance in their life. In fact, it actually builds a sexual tension and makes men look at their fiancee with lot more respect. The same strategy will also hold good for women. For example, if your fiancee can tell you why chocolate is not the best flavour to choose at an ice cream store with a compelling argument or why cats make a better pet than dogs, you will probably love her more. Let loose some risque jokes As you get comfortable with your partner before marriage, try pushing sexual boundaries not only through hand holding or hugging but also through clever jokes. It is scientifically proven that humour among men is seen as a sign of intelligence. If you can stick to the fine line between funny and risque, you will gain a few more brownie points that you can encash during the first night. Let your hugs last longer One sure fire way of letting your partner know about your feelings is to hug him or her when you two meet or say goodbye at the end of the day. Make the hug longer than usual to create a sense of longing and have your partner asking for more. This strategy should be used only when you two are comfortable with each other. Especially in an arranged marriage setting, a lingering hug out of the blue will make you look creepy. Shower some praise Without going over the top, appreciate little things about your partner. Maybe his cotton shirt or her beautiful eyes. Let the other party know you are into them without being too clingy. Positive reinforcement in small doses definitely improves intimacy and likability. Chapter 2: First night tips — Arrangements for the wedding night Via Mrandmrs55. First night gifts for the bride There are plenty of first night gift ideas to choose from from the predictable to awe-inspiring. We handpicked five first night gift ideas that go beyond the usual suspects. This is a great way to remember a memorable day for years to come. It is engraved on an 18 carat gold ring and is truly one of a kind. However, feel free to give these gifts to your wife on the first night of marriage if you think she will like them. Yes, you can now hire a car to experience the thrill of an adrenaline rush as you drive at breakneck speed. Finding a boudoir photographer is not easy in India. First night tips: How to pick the right gifts for your first night. Choosing the right gift for your husband or wife for your wedding night requires a couple of skills — observation and intuition. Here are four tips to help you choose the right wedding night gift. Remember the incidents that you remember when your fiance was happy. Pick a gift that your partner will appreciate. When you were engaged to your husband or wife, you might have gone on a date or done something that you both remember with fondness. Now pick a gift item that reminds your partner of the wonderful time you had together. Pay attention to friends and relatives. His mother probably has mentioned to you how much he likes to eat at a restaurant or how many hours he spent taking photographs using his outdated camera. These tidbits will help you pick a gift your partner will cherish. Avoid the usual suspects if you can. First night room decoration Here are some practical wedding night ideas for decorating the bedroom on your first night. Take control or lose it forever: Considering the fact that the bride and the groom may be too busy or shy to discuss the first night arrangement with parents, they may end up with whatever arrangement is presented to them. If you have specific plans to spice things up, have a frank and open conversation about the wedding night arrangements before the wedding. Understand the pros and cons of the location: In India, there are usually a few options available for your first night. However, if you want to get creative with the first night room decoration, you will have to pick a hotel room. No matter what the location is you choose, make sure you have direct access to an en-suite washroom at the least. The last thing you want is an awkward wedding night experience. Be mindful of allergies: Make sure you and your spouse are not allergic to flowers, scents from room spray or candles. Some people allergic to peanuts, lactose, and certain fruits and vegetables. While all of this would have been taken into account for the wedding, make sure you remember to factor these when you plan your room decoration for the wedding night. Design options for your wedding night room decoration: There are several design options you can pick from. Traditional design — If you have seen a Bollywood movie with a wedding night scene, you know what this is all about. A horde of flowers to decorate the bed and bed posts, an assortment of sweets and savouries possible from the wedding. Exotic design — If you have the budgets, you could go for something exotic such as an East Asian themed bed, bed posts, decorations including exotic flowers not usually in India. Need some design inspiration for your first night room decoration. First night games What better way to break the ice than some fun games together on your wedding night. Here are some handpicked first night games that you can consider trying depending on where you are in your relationship. If you two are already close and are dying to consummate your relationship, the adult rated categorised as 18+ first night games might work well. If you want to try something other than games, try building a tower of cards instead. Detailed video instructions are available. Start writing your answers to everything your spouse likes and dislikes. The list of likes and dislikes could range from food, snacks, dress, movies, cars, shopping, and anything else that you want to include. Once you have both come up with responses, exchange your notes and share your feedback. This is a great way to learn about each other. The only difference is that you will list all the relatives of your spouse you like or dislike. A variation would be to see how many relatives of your spouse you can list and what you can remember about their background. Guessing Game 18+ only : This game involves blindfolding your spouse and touching him or her in random places. Now the blindfolded person has to guess what is being used to touch them. You can get creative and use anything from cloth, ice, fruits, finger or even your lips to kiss your blindfolded spouse. Now if you really want to amplify the sexual tension, both of you should strip down to your underwear before you play this game. You can decide what reward or punishment you will dish out for the guess. Mix and Match 18+ only : You will need to make small pieces of paper and start writing down body parts hand, feet, neck to name a few. Then write down sexy verbs or actions kiss, rub, stroke, caress, lick to name a few you would like to perform on each other in another set of 10 paper pieces. Now have your spouse pick one piece of paper from each and perform the action on the body part based on their picks. First night tips: Traditional wedding night games from around the world Did you know that different cultures have their own customs and traditions for the wedding night. The relatives will, of course, make sure the apple is pulled away when they are about to be bitten. First night kit for the bride Via Snowflakemarshmallows. Here are the items that should find a place in the first night kit for a bride. Tylenol or equivalent medication to ward off headaches. Any prescription medication you might be already on. Birth control pills See a Gynaecologist or a Physician before the wedding and lubricants just in case. Basic makeup items for the morning after lipstick, eyeliner or Kajal stick, conditioning scream, bindi. Soap, shampoo, conditioner and deodorant. Wedding night kit for the groom Via Bridalsurvival. They do need one and here is a list of things the groom should have for the first night. Tylenol and any prescription medication. Condoms just in case things heat up. Wedding night kit for a sizzling evening Via Thatspersonal. Sex toys If you are wondering where you will buy adult stuff to liven up your wedding night, check out India based websites such as Itspleazure. These sites offer a discrete option to purchase kinky stuff for men and women and they all seem to have a large client base in India. These sites offer a discrete option to purchase kinky stuff for men and women and they all seem to have a large client base in India. For contemporary lingerie, you can check out What to do in your first wedding night and Clovia. Wedding night wear for the bride Via Zivame Wedding night wear for the Indian bride can range from traditional clothes to sexy outfits. Here are some options worth considering depending on what outcomes you expect to have. You will probably regret sleeping in your wedding saree. The best option would either be a night dress that you wear at home. A good quality dress without embarrassing holes and tears is preferable. Bermudas and shorts are options worth considering even for women if this is something they have tried before and hence are comfortable wearing them for the wedding night. Last but not the least, sexy lingerie or silk nightgowns are worth considering if you would like to make an impression. North Indian men can pull off a night with their bridal wear as long as they can get out of their tops. Sexy inner garments for men are available online if you believe you can wear them and not make your wife break out into a laughter marathon. Chapter 3: First night tips: The art of arousal This section of first night tips is all about setting the stage for a sexual intercourse on your wedding night. If you would rather skip sex on your wedding night, you can jump to point 32 on this list. Of course, you can bookmark this page read this section when you are ready. Men and women have different what to do in your first wedding night Men and women generally have widely differing time needed to achieve an orgasm. Elizabeth Armstrong, a sociologist at the University of Michigan, analysed data about the likelihood of having orgasms among 15000 university students. Here are some interesting findings from this study. Women orgasm once for every three times that men orgasm when they have sex the first time. The second time they have sex, women experience an orgasm every 2. As the relationship continues, eventually, women and men orgasm the same number of times. However, things will improve over a period of time. Here is an extract from an article that narrates the wedding night experience of a woman on her first night of the wedding. Men fantasise the first night since the time they get engaged. They make it a point to make their wife agree to whatever they command. All their sexual fantasies that were frustrating them meet reality and the wife is left shaken to tears. That newly wed wife is now an unsuspecting toy. I asked if one could avoid the first night due to the tiredness and emotional outbursts. Men and women think differently According to Esther Perel, a Psychotherapist from New York, women think about sex between their ears while men think about sex between their legs. Women look for a plot and place more value on anticipation. Perel says that women want to talk first, connect first and then have sex. Men can skip the first two steps and jump to sex in an instant. As long as men and women understand this difference and respond accordingly, sex can become a lot more enjoyable during your first night. Creating sexual tension and anticipation is something women value more than men. Men can consider using massage as a tool to set the stage for sex. There are several techniques for performing a massage. Here are some key tips for those interested in using this approach. Step 1: Start with a neck massage. Have your wife lay on the down face down and start massaging the neck. Make sure you stay away from the spine and focus on using the finger pads and palms. Step 2: Use your fingers to stroke her torso to release the nervous tension and loosen her up. Remember to use a massage oil. Just keep in mind that you are not aiming for creating an oil spill effect. Step 3: Now start massaging the back gently by sliding and kneading using your palms. Start going down all the way to the lower back. Make sure you are not showing off your manly strength and focus on her needs. Move on to the upper thighs and continue massaging. If she turns over, you can continue the massage and wait for her to make the move. This step creates the maximum sexual tension and could potentially end your massage session. Chapter 4: First night tips: Six alternatives to having sex on the wedding night Via IndiaPicture on Shutterstock It is quite probable that you are going through an arranged marriage and you hardly had time to spend time with your fiance before your wedding day. This is especially true if one of you is working in a different country and you flew in to get married. This section of first night tips is all about striking a bond and not having sex. If you and your partner believe sex can wait till you get to know each other, then here are six alternative first night tips that will allow you to have fun and not bother about having sex on your first night. Catch up on your sleep Traditional weddings are hectic affairs in India. The bride and the groom are under pressure to make sure all the ducks are lined up before the wedding day. After going through this circus, the last thing you may want to do is to have sexual intercourse with your spouse who has just transitioned from being a stranger to someone who shares your bed. Catching up on sleep is a great option to exercise on your first night and leave the sex to some other day. First night tips for bride: Here is a real life confession of a married woman. While you have your entire life ahead of you to spend together, why not start the journey on the night of your wedding. Plan your honeymoon Honeymoon presents a great opportunity for creating a strong bond with your spouse and build an intimate relationship. Gather information about the places you plan to visit, chalk out a schedule, and find out if there are interesting things you could consider doing at your honeymoon that aligns with your mutual interests. Admire each other Considering the fact that your wedding night is your first evening together as a couple, you could use this opportunity to set a positive tone for your life together. You could list down 10 things that you like about your spouse and share it with one another. Keep the conversational tone informal and let it flow. A little bit of praise will never hurt your relationship. Check out a few examples below to help you get started. First night tips — How to admire each other You have the best laugh on this planet and I believe it can disarm anyone. I still laugh thinking about it. You just say what you think and I love you for that. You have a knack of striking up a conversation with any stranger. Many of my relatives feel they are a lot closer to you than me. I think, with you by my side, we can make it through anything that life throws at us. Enjoy a romantic flick The wedding night could also be used an opportunity to chill out. Imagine a glass of champagne or soft drink, legs stretched, and good movie that both of you like. Here is a list of handpicked movies what to do in your first wedding night your wedding night. I Love You 2007 : A young widow discovers that her late husband had left her messages to help her heal and start a new life. While You Were Sleeping 1995 : A case of mistaken identity that involves a coma patient and a hopeless romantic. Sleepless in Seattle 1993 : The young son of a widower calls a radio station with the hope of finding a partner for his father. First night tips: Bollywood movies for your first night Dil Chahta Hai 2001 : Three inseparable childhood friends fall in love and their relationships what to do in your first wedding night a strain among the friends. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi 2008 : A man wins over his wife who is an exact opposite of his personality. Chori Chori 1956 : A rich young woman is on the run with a reporter who is looking for a story. Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam 1999 : A young woman is torn between her husband and her lover. Write thank you notes It takes a village to conduct a wedding ceremony. While you will have plenty of time to thank every one of your friends or relatives who played a part in pulling off your big fat Indian wedding, you could both sit together and write thank you notes to family members and friends. This activity also provides you with an opportunity to learn about people who your spouse considers as near and dear. First night tips: Thank you note samples for your wedding For a close relative: Thank you very much for attending our wedding. Your gift was so thoughtful and it will find a permanent place in our living room for sure. Amma was telling me that you moved heaven and earth to make sure every guest was taken care of. For a friend: Ravi and I were thinking about the wonderful time we had at the wedding earlier this morning with you. I knew you were thrilled for us going by your beaming million Dollar smile throughout the day. You can find more practical examples for your thank you card.

There are absolutely no rules. Any of these gifts will excite your partner. Make sure you have the details on the right steps to take before the first night. My husband really knew my weak points - he kissed me below my ears; behind my neck; I could feel his lips feel every inch of my body. Moreover I didn't exactly know what his preferences and likings were. Men can consider using massage as a tool to set the stage for sex. For example, if your fiancee can tell you why chocolate is not the best flavour to choose at an ice cream store with a compelling argument or why cats make a better pet than dogs, you will probably love her more. Explore what you like, what you feel, talk your way through it. These sites offer a discrete option to purchase kinky stuff for men and women and they all seem to have a large client base in India. Gradually I felt more comfortable and relaxed, and two days after we got married, Sam penetrated me for the first time, and it felt wonderful. Meanwhile the bride is glad that he started afterall.